Austin Powers: Ranking the Scariest Things (According to Austin!)

So, Austin Powers, the international man of mystery, right, is usually portrayed as being, very confident and rather groovy. His world, is it not, involves, you know, ridiculously evil villains, unbelievably attractive women, and just a whole heap of outlandish situations. That being stated, even the super-spy, you see, has a few things that genuinely send shivers down his spine. The joke, is it not, originates in “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me,” where our charismatic hero, more or less, openly admits that two things really scare him. Now, since then, the list has been debated by fans for years. Let’s, maybe, dive in, why don’t we, and, actually, have a look at, you know, what really makes Austin Powers sweat.

#5: Sharks with Frickin’ Laser Beams Attached to Their Heads

Look, sharks with laser beams are so, a concept made famous, is it not, by Dr. Evil, might be considered, in some respects, less of a fear, you see, and rather more of a cool, villainous accessory. But you, might be thinking about how absurd and outright dangerous they appear to be. In a straight-up fight, they really, wouldn’t be a problem, is that so? That’s right, in an ocean chase, which could be something quite frightening. That idea alone is something he finds really awful.

#4: Mini-Me’s Evil Glare

Let’s not forget, Mini-Me, right, Dr. Evil’s tiny clone, may look, you know, adorable. But, honestly, he is actually pretty scary. Just think about the spitefulness in that tiny body! A small, yet significant amount of the terror might come from his unyielding devotion to Dr. Evil, right, that is really, a bit unsettling. Think about Mini-Me staring daggers directly at you. It is, sort of, something that could keep anybody up at night.

#3: Losing His Mojo

Consider it, “Mojo,” really, might be the essence, right, of Austin’s charm, his appeal, basically, you know, all the characteristics that make him… Austin Powers! The mere possibility of him losing his mojo, actually, represents, you see, a loss of self. This isn’t, clearly, only vanity; it is, almost, an existential dread about not being capable of, basically, connecting with the folks around him. That said, he’d be so basic!

#2: Being Thrown Into Space

Supposing you were flung into the vacuum of space with, for example, nothing but a skimpy outfit and your shining personality. A thing like that could possibly be, in a way, pretty horrific. Space itself, basically, is not usually seen as hospitable: there’s a lack of air, it gets really cold, it’s rather lonely out there, yet the prospect of suffocating or freezing could potentially worry Austin Powers very much. The total loneliness he would sense while soaring out there on his own could just possibly hit very hard.

#1: Number Two

Yes, Number Two, in fact, is the henchman for Dr. Evil, and his toilet humor name, definitely, isn’t where the fear ends. A person could be very unsettled because of Number Two because, that is, in a way, what you do notice about him when he’s not behind the desk managing finances and wearing an eyepatch. As a matter of fact, that is the first phobia Austin admits.